Thursday, January 30, 2014

Look Who's Talking: 3 months old!

It’s time for our monthly visit from guest blogger, Forest Alexander. Today Forest is 3 months old and weighing in at an impressive 13.2 pounds, which means he’s bigger than 26% of his peers. He’s been playing catch-up since his birth and is leap-frogging those other babies left and right.  In addition to eating and gaining weight like a boss, here is Forest to tell you a little bit more about his developing interests (and dis-interests). 

Hiya folks. It’s really great to be back here as a guest blogger. This Scottish weather is the pits and lately mom and I have been going stir crazy in the house. There is only so much tummy time that will keep a man’s mind occupied, you know? I’m glad I have this blog as an outlet for all this mental energy I have stored up. 

I guess y’all have heard that I’ll be moving to California soon. I hear there is a thing called sunshine there. After spending my first 3 months living in Scotland, I’m not sure what this ‘sunshine’ is exactly, but it sounds glorious.  I’m sure it will be on my ‘likes’ list soon, but for now, here are the things that I’ve actually experienced in my 3 months of life that have made the cut.


Rolling over.  I love tummy time and all, but sometimes I want to give back-time some love too. When that happens I just flip right on over. I’ve technically been doing this since I was 7 weeks old, which is pretty advanced. According to my mom, this makes me the smartest baby in the universe. When she told the doctor about this little skill at my 8 week check-up, he totally thought she was crazy. But me and my mom, we knew the truth. But it’s like I always say: Haters gonna hate.

And even though 'the books' say I shouldn't roll from my back onto my side until about 4.5 months, watch this: 
Boo yah!  

My bedroom door. I don’t know what it is, but this door cracks me up. Maybe it’s all the time we spend together since my mom is constantly shoving naptime down my throat. This door is to me what Wilson, the volleyball, is to Tom Hanks in that movie Castaway. (I have seen way too many Tom Hanks movies in my short life. Another thing my mom shoves down my throat. I also know every word to every Taylor Swift song ever written). Anyhoo, I love when my mom burps me over her shoulder and me and door are close enough to share our ‘inside’ jokes (Haha…'inside' jokes…get it?). Mom always gives me a confused look as I just grin and cackle away at my door. Parents just don’t understand. J’adore door. (That’s right, in addition to knowing all the words to every Taylor Swift song, I also speak a little French. I told y’all, I’m a genius.)

My Igloo. Speaking of French, probably the best thing I own is this cozy 7 AM Enfant “igloo” that fits in my car seat and stroller. It is super toasty; perfect for snuggling with my sleep sheep while I run errands with my mom.  

My North Face Fleece. Dad has me ‘prepping’ for my LSU fraternity days already (haha..get it, ‘prep’ping? I am on fire with the puns today!) by dressing me in appropriate ‘frat-tastic’ clothes. This means I can’t ever wear cargo shorts, my polo’s gotsta be the ones with horsies on them, and I need to rock a North Face fleece when it’s colder than 70 degrees outside. Done and done. 

The Name Song. You know the one. It goes ‘Forest, forest, bo borest, banana fanna fo forest..’, etc. There is something about rhyming words that just tickles me. Especially words that rhyme with my most favorite word: Forest. I also like words that rhyme with my second favorite word: Poop.

My Mom’s singing voice. It’s like the voice of an angel. She should totally try out for American Idol. (Okay, okay, she paid me to say that. American Idol season starts and she thinks she the next Carrie Underwood or something, and I’m the lucky guy who has to listen to her potential ‘audition’ songs all day long.) But seriously, she has a nice voice and it always brings a smile to my face. 

Mirrors. Can you blame me?
Long naps. (Gasp!) I know, I know, I’m usually a nap hater, but occasionally I’ll accidentally stumble upon a long nap and wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated (Don’t tell my mom. I’ve got a rep to protect.) 
The best part of long naps is when my mom comes into my room after I wake up and she says, ‘Hey there, Nap-a-soraus!'. It is hilarious, though I think it’s one of those ‘had to be there’ type of things. Just trust me. I LOL every. single. time .


The usual. I still hate naptime but I’m coming around to its charms. My mom uses my lullaby seahorse to lure me into a false sense of security and the next thing I know, BANG! I wake up 45 minutes later in my cradle. 
It’s like an episode of ‘The Hangover’ over here.  

Scottish weather. This relentless wind and rain is keeping me from enjoying one of my favorite hobbies: napping in my stroller. The other day, my mom totally faked me out by simply putting me in my stationary stroller so I could catch some shut eye (she's sly as a fox, my momma), but I much prefer napping on the go.

Teething. Yep, that’s right. Apparently an early sign of genius is cutting teeth early. Well, call me Einstein because at 3 months I am a drooling, hand chewing, cranky mess. It stinks because momma got me all these state of the art teething toys that I am not quite coordinated enough to use just yet. Oh well, for the time being, my hands will have to fill in for Sophie the Giraffe.

Surprises. If I were you, I wouldn’t make any sudden movements or unexpected loud noises in my presence unless you want to get an earful of screaming for 5 minutes or so.  For instance, if you are feeding me and your husband asks you a question from downstairs, do not yell the answer. That is what texting is for.  Also, If you’re holding me, do not suddenly move your hand to reach for your coke as the sudden motion terrifies me to my very core. Speaking of which, peek-a-boo is a nightmare. Please stop, mom. And also, enough with the sneezes already. Sheesh.  

Breast-feeding. Ever since my mom and dad started giving me bottles of milk because of my medicine, I’ve found them much more preferable to the old school way of eating. While I eat a bottle, I can sit up, I can look around, I can get a full meal in 15 minutes. It’s the best. But for some reason, a few times a day, my mom still tries to get me to go back to primitive eating and I am not too happy about it. Usually I will just throw a fit until she relents and gives me what I want, but I feel a tad guilty about this because I can tell it makes her sad. 

She keeps threatening me with formula.  I mean, I get the whole ‘Farm fresh. Eat local.’ argument, but I am an American afterall. I’ve got no fear of processed foods. My dad gave me a serious talk about how I should really appreciate breasts being shoved in my face while I can. Whatever that means… 

Well, I think that’s about enough for today. See you in a month!

***A note from Forest’s mom: I have a reader poll type of question. Since Forest was born on the 30th of October, and February only has 28 days, should his 4 month birthday be the 28th of February or the 2nd of March? What do you think?


  1. Forest is a clearly gifted blogger

  2. Loved this post :) I think his 4 month birthday should be on the 28th of Feb!

  3. This is the most precious and hysterical blog ever. Especially the diddy about breastfeeding. I am laughing out loud! But seriously, so precious and how clever is your mommy Forest? Very clever, indeed! I ditto the 4month bday in Feb.

  4. I read this late one night at work and was laughing so hard I had to share with my co-workers...and Forest had us all in stitches. Especially the part about his dislike of surprises, seriously hilarious. February 28th, but it would be kind of cool to be both 4months and 5 months in the same month, like standing in two states at once cool :)