Providence (noun): the foreseeing care and guidance of God.
Remember when I was so bummed about not getting to move to Nigeria because I couldn’t live near my parents? My faith in God’s plan has been confirmed ten-fold. Probably the most bittersweet part of this move is that we just learned my parents will actually be moving from Nigeria back to Houston. I can’t imagine my state of mind if we were told we were moving to Nigeria just to be told a few hours later that my parents were leaving. God has a plan even if we can’t see the method behind the madness. If we trust Him fully and have patience, eventually his reasons will be revealed to us.
I’m very excited for my parents because I know they’re ready to come home after spending the last 8 years abroad. While I’m thrilled for them, selfishly I’m a little resentful. People say the hardest thing about ex-patriating is being apart from your family. The fact that I was already away from my family made it seem easier somehow. With my parents in Houston, it would make Texas and even America seem more like home.
I was a sophomore in College when they left the US and in a sense, I felt ‘homeless’: crashing my friends’ Thanksgiving dinners; staying with their families during Hurricane Katrina/Rita. I clung to Baton Rouge as my home and invested so much emotionally into my college town. When I married Jonathan we moved to Midland and I learned to anchor my concept of ‘home’ onto a person, rather than a place.
It makes me sad to think that I will just miss having my husband, parents, and brother within a 10 mile radius. I never thought it was possible to be that family; the family that lives close enough for weekly dinners; or the grandmother who can watch our kids for a date night. And because I didn’t think it was possible, I started dreaming of other things- primarily a life abroad; an independent life with no roots holding us back; an ever changing front porch view.
It’s silly, but the only real hesitancy I feel over the upcoming move is missing out on the opportunity to live near my parents, even temporarily. In other words: I want my mommy.
I just hope that we get out of here before they come back because Jonathan will have another thing coming if he tries to move me out of a city that contains my mother. This is a woman I was willing to move to Lagos, Nigeria to be with. I think that qualifies me as what you would call a Momma’s girl. I look to my Mom for advice constantly, especially when it comes to being a Trailing Spouse.
Before learning of her own move, she had planned to help us with house-hunting and preparing our shipment from the U.S. Now that she is occupied, I’ll be relying on her feedback mostly via email and phone calls. She’s already been super helpful by sending me her shipment inventory from when they moved to Aberdeen and when I send her real estate listings she responds with detailed information about each neighborhood. So even though she likely won’t be there in person to help me, I know that we already have a major head start due to my parents’ experience in Scotland.
Jonathan and I are currently reading one chapter of Proverbs a night, and it redundantly stresses the importance of humbling yourself and seeking wisdom from others who have walked your same path. I am so fortunate to have parents who have already paved this path for me and who have the patience to dispense their advice to me and Jon despite having their own mountainous to-do list. Part of what I hope to accomplish with this blog is to create a resource for other ex-pats. I’ll be publishing both our mistakes and triumphs so that hopefully someone might sidestep some of the pitfalls we encounter along the way.