I would say happy Bump Day, but I would be remiss if I didn’t
first off recognize the significance of this particular date in American
history.
The memories of that tragic morning are still fresh in my mind, and
the aftermath of that terrible act continue to impact us on a global level. Appropriately, I spent the morning at an
American Women’s Association meeting, which reminded me that Americans are resilient
and confident and friendly and open and hopeful and diverse. And we’re going to
keep on being Americans no matter where we go in the world, and hopefully,
Jonathan and I can be good ambassadors for our often misunderstood and
scapegoated country.
Over the past year and a half I have become more patriotic
than I ever thought possible. Living outside of American borders helps me to
see my home country much more clearly, for all of its accomplishments and also
it’s many faults. When travelling Europe, I used to try to stay under the radar
and hide my blatant American-ness from the naked eye. But after a year, I finally
realized that I am proud of who I am and where I come from.
And yes, I want to
learn the local ways of doing things and be culturally sensitive wherever I
live or travel, but I’m not going to shirk off my own culture and traditions as
if it’s something to be ashamed of. So I’m gonna keep on saying ‘y’all’ and
spelling things the American way (labor instead of labour) and giving the
temperature in Fahrenheit and reminiscing about Target and Big Gulps because I’m American,
and I refuse to let anyone make me feel like that’s a bad thing to be. Humph.
Anyway, back to baby bump news….At 34 weeks I am only 6 short weeks from my due
date. I think I look more pregnant than I am because as our gardener, who comes
every two weeks, was leaving yesterday he told me goodbye and remarked, “I
guess the next time I see you, you’ll be plus 1”. I hope not, unless we have a
premie on our hands…
And later that day I was checking out at the grocery store
and there was a baby crying in the next aisle. The checkout clerk remarked, “You’ll
have one of those soon enough. In fact, you better get back home.”, as if he
were concerned that I might go into spontaneous labor right then and there. In
their defense, I really do believe my petite frame grossly exaggerates how big
my bump appears.
It’s a total optical illusion. Even Jonathan swears that this
baby will be born sooner than 6 weeks time, and guesses that we’re working with
more of a 4 week timeline. Eeek! It’s only 3 more weeks until I’m full term, so
he could totally be right!
I’m excited but also apprehensive. I know that my
world will be turned upside down in ways I have no context for comprehending at
the moment. For the first 2 months, I expect it will be all hands on deck and
my life will be a constant loop of feeding, burping, changing, feeding,
burping, changing.
I talked to a few of the girls from the AWA ‘Moms and Tots’
group this morning and they confirmed my suspicions but assured me that once you
get through the crisis mode of the first 2-3 months, life adjusts, routines
form, and what you are left with is a much different world, but a better world.
I just pray that my husband and I can be supportive of each other. I pray that
I’m humble enough to allow our gracious friends and family to help us out with getting
us back on our feet after baby. I pray that I’m
one of the lucky ones who doesn’t face the many painful challenges of
breastfeeding. I pray that my labor is swift and uncomplicated and that my body
gets the rest and attention it needs to heal quickly. More than anything, I pray that our baby is healthy….and it wouldn’t
hurt if he were a good eater and sleeper too.
I pray about all of these things because praying
is all I can do; because none of this is in my control. I can’t truly prepare
for any of it. I just have to trust that the grace of God will be present
during this chaotic time in my life. That He will keep me sane and functioning
and competent enough to care for a newborn. I pray that He replaces my selfish
and stubborn heart with one that wants to serve and sacrifice. I pray that in
my helplessness, I will remember to call first on His name and I pray that he
will provide me with the patience and stamina needed in those newborn months.
Wow,
I kind of feel like I’m drowning just thinking of what’s to come. Hopefully, I
have at least another 3 weeks of relative freedom before the baby arrives. Sorry this was such a serious post. Sometimes they just turn out that way.
Here
are the bump pics for the week:
Wonderful post! What a blessing to read! With God we can do this parent thing!
ReplyDeleteYou were a good sleeper. You should be rewarded now but maybe it doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sweet daughter I am so proud of you and can't tell you how much this post touched my heart. You know who to call on for everything, who to trust with everything and who to look too Our Awesome God!!! With Him all things are possible and as you said He is in control of it all and we will trust Him with it all. With that said those bump pictures sure seemed to change this week. I might be leaning on the fence with Jonathan about when that baby boy may make his appearance. I think I may change my ticket to come over a week earlier if I can. Make sure this is o.k. with Jon before I change the ticket. Love you always and can't wait to see you and Jon and meet baby __________????
ReplyDelete