Today I am 38 weeks pregnant, and it’s true what they say- it’s like waiting on a ticking time bomb. It’s such a surreal feeling to know that at any point in time, my body could spontaneously launch into one of the most painful experiences known to man and afterward my life will be forever changed. And yet, when a friend calls to ask if I want to grab lunch tomorrow or when Jon asks if I want to see a movie this week, I say ‘yes’ as if life is totally going on as normal.
On the one hand, the social distractions keep me from getting overwhelmed with the impending life changes coming my way, but on the other hand, I’m kind of craving some alone time so that I can ‘get my mind right’ and focus on the task at hand. I haven’t put much thought into the labor and delivery part of baby boy’s birth. I’m a little anxious about the pain and the uncertainty of the actual birthing process, but I’m way more nervous about the recovery and the breastfeeding and the being responsible for a helpless human being 24/7 for the forseeable future.
I’m excited about so many things about having our son, but as someone with zero experience with newborns, I’m feeling a tad intimidated by all the skills I will need to master immediately after he’s born. I’ve been cramming on information regarding bathing, nail-filing, diaper-changing, feed-scheduling, temperature-regulating, etc. It all seems very abstract now, but pretty soon it will be an absolute non-stop reality. Of course, I feel unprepared for the challenge, but I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
Another cliché that is holding true is that I feel like I’m about to POP. I doubt my stomach could stretch any more than it already has and at any point I feel like it might just burst like a balloon. I feel like I look like a cartoon of a pregnant woman; a petite frame with a basketball shoved under my shirt. Apparently this is a classic sign of carrying a boy and I’ve had numerous strangers guess that we were having a boy just from the way I look.
I meet with my midwife tomorrow so hopefully she assesses that baby boy has grown appropriately in the past two weeks and is still presenting as a healthy but small peanut. Please keep our wee lad in your thoughts and prayers.
It’s been a long day (more on why later) and I’m quite tired so let me just show you the photos of what baby bump looks like at 38 weeks.