Today I am 38 weeks pregnant, and it’s true what they say-
it’s like waiting on a ticking time bomb. It’s such a surreal feeling to know
that at any point in time, my body could spontaneously launch into one of the
most painful experiences known to man and afterward my life will be forever changed. And
yet, when a friend calls to ask if I want to grab lunch tomorrow or when Jon
asks if I want to see a movie this week, I say ‘yes’ as if life is totally
going on as normal.
On the one hand, the social distractions keep me from
getting overwhelmed with the impending life changes coming my way, but on the
other hand, I’m kind of craving some alone time so that I can ‘get my mind
right’ and focus on the task at hand. I
haven’t put much thought into the labor and delivery part of baby boy’s birth.
I’m a little anxious about the pain and the uncertainty of the actual birthing
process, but I’m way more nervous about the recovery and the breastfeeding and
the being responsible for a helpless human being 24/7 for the forseeable
future.
I’m excited about so many things about having our son, but as someone
with zero experience with newborns, I’m feeling a tad intimidated by all the
skills I will need to master immediately after he’s born. I’ve been cramming on
information regarding bathing, nail-filing, diaper-changing, feed-scheduling,
temperature-regulating, etc. It all seems very abstract now, but pretty soon it
will be an absolute non-stop reality. Of course, I feel unprepared for the
challenge, but I guess I’m as ready as
I’ll ever be.
Another cliché that is holding true is that I feel like I’m about
to POP. I doubt my stomach could stretch
any more than it already has and at any point I feel like it might just burst
like a balloon. I feel like I look like a cartoon of a pregnant woman; a petite
frame with a basketball shoved under my shirt. Apparently this is a classic sign of
carrying a boy and I’ve had numerous strangers guess that we were having a boy
just from the way I look.
I meet with my midwife tomorrow so hopefully she
assesses that baby boy has grown appropriately in the past two weeks and is
still presenting as a healthy but small peanut. Please keep our wee lad in your thoughts and prayers.
It’s been a long day (more on
why later) and I’m quite tired so let me just show you the photos of what baby
bump looks like at 38 weeks.
You're doing great! This is the hardest part...the impending change. It's like you're standing on a cliff and you just want to jump on in the water already because standing there looking at it is scary! Lots of love and prayers to you from us xoxo
ReplyDeleteA great tip my mother-in-law gave me: just bite their nails at first. You can chew them down when they are nursing and wait to bring out the clippers til they are older and you feel more confident.
You're going to be fine. Nobody really knows what they are doing when they start out...I still don't! But, Sebastian is still alive. So, I guess that means we're doing alright. Totally take time for yourself. Don't feel bad about it. Labor is as much a mental thing as a physical. You're going to rock it!!! Good luck and prayers for a safe delivery!
ReplyDeleteYou look great and I'm sure you'll be a great mom!
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