How to save a drowning iphone

It was the perfect Saturday. Cooler morning temperatures led to a perfect run followed by perfect laying out weather. I enjoyed a good hour of reading on the dock of Lake Conroe before scoring big on a new fall wardrobe at Old Navy during an unbelievable sale. On Saturday night, LSU scored 47 points in their win against West Virginia, solidifying their argument that they should be ranked #1 in the nation. What more could I ask for from a day other than an invigorating run, reading a cheesy book under the shade of a floppy hat, a good sale, and a Tiger stomping?

Of course, I’ve lived with my luck long enough to know that such a wonderful trend could not last. My run Sunday was hot and muggy and there was no time for laying out in the morning, since we had to be on our way back to Houston at 9:30 AM. In my rush to get ready/pack up the car, the most tragic thing happened. While blow-drying my hair, I heard something plop into the toilet. Figuring my mascara had rolled off the counter; I casually glanced over and to my horror, saw my i-phone sitting in the bottom of a watery grave.

After quickly retrieving it from the toilet I promptly yelled for my husband’s assistance. His two instructions to me were 1) do not turn it off, and 2) store it in a cool dry place for a few hours. I operated under this assumption for the next 3 hours until my i-phone finally shut itself off.

After it flatlined, I consulted the internet about what the best course of action is when your i-phone is on suicide watch for trying to off itself in the toilet. Basically, Google instructed me to do exactly the opposite of what my husband had said.

So, if your i-phone ever leaps 2 feet from the bathroom counter into the toilet, DO NOT keep it on and DO NOT store it in a cool, dry place. Instead you need to, 1) Turn it off 2) put it in a bag of rice, and 3) keep it in a very hot place in order to evaporate the water quickly. I took these steps about 5 hours after the drowning incident, and apparently I was about 5 hours too late. My i-phone has now been cooking in the hot Texas sun for 2 days now, but still shows no signs of life. Perhaps if I had only acted sooner to save my dear friend, he’d still be checking my email today.

And though I am completely devastated at the loss of my beloved phone, I’m really glad I found a way to blame this whole thing on Jonathan.