Before and After

There are moments in your life that stand out as distinct landmarks of Before and After. Yesterday our married life was divided into two categories: Before and After we expatriated from the US. Every blog post written before this was written without the knowledge that I have right now: we will be moving from Texas to Aberdeen, Scotland this coming May.

My parents lived in Aberdeen for about 3 years when I was in my early 20s and I was lucky enough to visit them twice; once by myself in winter and again with Jonathan in summer. The gloomy weather and lack of Jonathan made leaving Scotland the first time more bearable. During the second trip, the romantic scenery and perfect summer weather made me fall even more hopelessly in love with the country. I distinctly remember thinking: if it weren’t for my dogs, I’d never go back to the US.

I can’t believe that in as little as 2 months’ time, I could be walking in the Scottish hills with my hubby and two pups. It’s truly a dream come true; a truly adventurous, happily ever After.

The Draft

This is the big week. This week is Jon’s company’s version of the draft, and he is a free agent. Today the big wigs at Jon’s company will meet in Seattle to discuss the futures of 400 + employees scheduled for a job change this spring. We could know our fate as early as today or by Wednesday night at the latest.

While I’ve been trying to prepare myself for all of the best and worst case scenarios, there is one location I haven’t really prepared myself for: staying in Houston. When the option got tossed around last week, I was caught a bit off guard. Since I’ve done the appropriate research on our other options, I thought I’d take a minute to reflect on some things I love about this sprawling city.

-Nearness to friends and family. My brother lives exactly 1 mile away and we are only about an hour from my parents Lake House in Montgomery. It’s about a 3 hour drive to Lafayette, 4 to B.R. and 5 to New Orleans.
-Renaissance Festival.
-World Class Shopping- Houston (ranks number one in the USA).
-Mega-International Airport with tons of direct flights.
-Great Museums for Art and Natural History.
-Mouth Watering food: just a few of my favorites are Barnaby’s, Brown Bag Deli, Broken Spoke, and if we’re feeling really fancy, Mark’s.
-Houston Restaurant Week which features great prices for 3 course meals at several of the best spots in town.
-Old Town Spring.
-The Historic Heights including events such as Heights Holiday Home Tour and Lights in the Heights. Other things I love about the Heights specifically: The Heights hike and bike trail, 19th street shopping, St. Arnold’s Pub Crawls.
-The Houston Rodeo.
-Nutcracker Market.
-Astros games (particularly vs. Cardinals).
-River Oaks Theater.
-Amazing groupon deals.
-Feeding the giraffes at the Houston Zoo.
-Memorial Park Aboretum.
-The Woodlands Mall and Pavilion.
-Great health care options which means never waiting more than 2 weeks for a Doctor’s appointment. It’d be a nice place to have a baby.
-Humidity. And for all you humidity haters out there- live in West Texas for a few years and you will never complain about humidity again. It's a blessing.
-Huge LSU fanbase.
-Dog-friendly bars.
-Our church, Ecclesia.
-Pinot’s Pallet art classes.

For this post I actually did a little research on Houston and discovered that the Waugh Street Bridge houses the 2nd largest Bat colony in urban Texas (1st place goes to Austin). This bridge is 3 miles from my house and I never knew that. I'm not sure if it's a negative or positive in the Houston column, but it's good to know regardless.

I also learned that Howard Hughes is buried in Glenwood Cemetery on the Washington Corridor. I’ve been to the Hughes Hanger bar on Washington Avenue but never realized there was a connection.

I could also easily list a lot of things I don’t love about Houston, but today I’m choosing to focus on the positive; the possibility. Stress will undoubtedly come later, but today is a day to celebrate a new chapter in Jonathan’s career, whether that be in Aberdeen or Angola, Texas or Thailand.

Today I wore my “kilt” to work, along with a silver ring from the Scottish Orkney Isles because in my heart, I’m slightly pulling for Scotland. But I’m also wearing my tanzanite earrings which were a souvenir from our trip to South Africa, just to remind myself that a piece of my heart lies there as well. I’ve always been symbolic like that.

The only thing I own from Thailand is an elephant print diaper bag and I didn’t think this was appropriate to bring with me to work today. And as for why I own an elephant print diaper bag from Thailand- I have my parents to thank for that. It was their most recent hint that they expect grandchildren in the near future. It has a bow, which is to let me know that the diaper bag is for a girl. Seriously.

No pressure.

Uncertain Terms

I’m a planner which means typically, I don’t deal very well with uncertainty. We found out six months ago that sometime in the next year Jonathan would be switching jobs, likely involving a relocation, and possibly a global one. We didn’t know where this move would be, but we knew we’d find out at the end of February/beginning of March. We figured that by the end of January, we’d at least have a pretty solid idea of where we’d be heading.At the end of January, we eagerly planned on a domestic move to Covington, LA.

But Covington slowly evolved into Thailand and I was excited in different ways. It’s always been my dream to live abroad, and Thailand was such an enchanting and exotic prospect that I couldn’t help but feel a thrill at the thought.
But then something came up. Something so wonderful, yet so improbable, that Jonathan and I dared not discuss it. But as it became an almost certain bet, we decided to let my parents in on the secret- we might be coming to join them in Nigeria. Now I’ve mentioned that my dad and husband work for the same company, in the same department. We always ruled Nigeria out as possibility due to this conflict of interest, but secretly I dreamed about living in the same city as my parents, especially since baby fever is running rampant in my household.

When rumors spread that there was no conflict of interest and Jonathan was asked if he’d be interested a position there, we foolishly let our guards down. We briefly discussed it before saying ‘heck yes’ and started preparing for the move. A few days later, it turned out that it was a conflict of interest for Jon to work in my dad’s department, and therefore Nigeria was not in the cards for us.

I was absolutely crushed at the news and was an emotional wreck for days. After much heartache and prayer, I realized Nigeria just wasn’t the place for us right now. I prayed for God’s peace in my heart, and he delivered. I told Jonathan that I didn’t want to discuss any more options- that I would rather him just tell me once the decision was made and I would get on board with wherever that might be. So that’s why, when he came to me last Thursday night with the option to go to Scotland, my heart rejoiced.

In case you didn’t know, I love Scotland more than any other place in the world. It is my happy place. It inspires me. It’s the setting of my daydreams. I tried to be cautious but Jonathan was assured that this was the real deal if we wanted to take the job (of course we wanted to take the job!).

We started making plans to ship the dogs, rent a house, and buy a Fiat hatch back. He was instructed to call Monday morning to set up a start date, yet when he did he realized it wasn't a done deal. It's still an option, but just one of many. So we're back at square one. Back at uncertainty. Back at praying for God’s peace and guidance.

Part of the relief I felt when I thought it was Scotland, was simply knowing where we were headed. Being able to start planning. Being able to move forward. The worst part about this experience has been feeling in limbo. We’re living in Houston with one foot out the door. We felt a natural tendency over the past few months to stop investing in friendships, church, our jobs. We’ve started pulling back and preparing to leave. We’ve been waiting for months and yet this final week has felt the most excruciating.

Each day brings new hints of where our lives might be headed, and then the next day everything changes. It’s exhausting and pointless to try to pin anything down. We’ll know soon enough.

More than anything, this situation is teaching me to trust God fully. When I heard the news about Aberdeen not working out, I teared up, but was nowhere near as devastated as I was when the Nigeria option was shut down. Almost instantly I felt God’s peace come into my heart and say ‘It’s okay. I have big plans for you’. My mantra lately has been ‘God has a plan. God has a plan. God has a plan.’ I repeat it over and over anytime I feel anxious about the coming months and it’s very effective (without the coma inducing side effects of Xanax).

And I know that God’s plan isn’t about what’s easiest and most comfortable for me, although it’s tempting to pray for that. I have to fight my heart when it wants to call out “Dear Jesus, please don’t send me to China. China really freaks me out. Please, could you just send me to Louisiana instead?”. Instead, I force myself to pray, “Dear Lord, please teach me to trust you. Please send us where we can best serve you. Please bring peace and comfort to my heart as you guide me towards your path for me.”

Changing how I pray has changed my entire world view. Once I snapped out of my selfish pouting and started trusting God with my life, it’s opened my eyes to what a self-absorbed brat I’ve been lately. My obsession with this uncertain, completely out of my control move has distracted me from focusing on my family which are frying way bigger fish right now.

Handing over my problems to God has allowed me to spend my energy praying for my grandmother who is having surgery to remove a tumor this weekend; for my sweet Dad who is having the worst month ever; for my fearless sister who just moved cross country with two small children for the second time in 6 months.

It’s like that saying: “if everyone put their problems into a pile, you’d ask for yours back”. I am so fortunate to have my problems. Like most things, it’s all a matter of perspective. I am small. My life is just one life. My problems are actually blessings. Thank you Lord, for this adventurous life. Please allow me to use it as a means to serve you. Amen.

In other, more light hearted news: We are on day 3 of our commitment to reduce our TV watching. It is amazing how much I can get done after work when I don’t plop down in front of the television right away. Last night we walked the dogs, cooked a new recipe for Greek Pastitsio Casserole (hint: use rotel for ‘diced’ tomatoes), and gave Samson a bath. (Samson's post-bath rawhide reward)
The mornings have been the hardest adjustment since I usually watch TV while I do the elliptical machine and watch Good Morning America while I get ready. As a substitute, I’ve been listening to podcast sermons from my church during exercise/getting ready time. This is doubly wonderful because we’ve been out of town so much lately that we’ve been missing a lot of Sundays. This gives me a way to catch up and start my day with a dose of Jesus, which is ultimately the point of this no TV thing in the first place.

It is still hard to break the habit and I caught my hand instinctively reaching for the remote this morning. Elipticalling without Downton Abbey was particularly difficult. It’s always hard to cultivate new habits, but hopefully by Easter I won’t be so dependent on TV.

Since we are still watching one show per night, I was able to keep up with the Top 24 on American Idol. I’m calling it right now that Philip Phillips is going to win the whole thing. He’s got the trifecta of talent needed to take the crown: Cute, White boy, with guitar. Or as the cool kids refer to it WBWG (Are you still a “cool kid” when you spend your free time on American Idol forums? If not, I’m screwed.).

Inappropriate texting and Belated Valentine's celebration

As I’ve mentioned before, Jonathan will likely be transferred in the next few months meaning a relocation for us. What’s still unclear is where we will be going, but we should find out within the next week or so. Yesterday morning Jonathan sent me a text message asking if I’d rather move to Angola or China.

Angola or China? I felt like responding: what, you mean Afghanistan and Somalia weren’t available?

Now I know China might not seem as bad as one of those places, but the people in China eat scorpions and reject Oreos. There’s something fundamentally off about a country that would choose arachnids over chocolate.

As for Angola…well it really is almost as bad as a place like Somalia. However, Jonathan’s company compensates financially for “hardship locations” where you might run the risk of contracting malaria or being kidnapped by pirates. They do not, however, compensate so generously for the absence of Oreos or the traumatic experience of watching my husband eat a scorpion (because you know he would). So Angola or China? I’d have to say I’m leaning towards….Switzerland. Is that an option?

And by the way, is this an appropriate question to ask via text message? Kind of puts that whole Joe Jonas /Taylor Swift break-up in perspective. So he dumped you via text message. At least he didn’t proposition you to eat a scorpion.

In other news: Since Jonathan was gone for Valentine ’s Day, we enjoyed a belated celebration at the Broken Spoke last night. Because nothing says romance like Belgian beer on tap. Also, he must be following my pinterest, because as a gift he got me this travel bag that I’ve been majorly crushing on (Okay so maybe he cheated and asked for a link to my pinterest, but the fact that he even knows what pinterest is proves that he listens).
And it turns out that I’m going to need a good travel bag because over dinner we ‘cheers’ed to a new lead on the job front. I don’t want to jinx it just yet by blogging it out loud, but let’s just say it’s more in line with Switzerland than Somalia. I’ll give you a hint: Cheers!

Here Goes Nothing....

For a while now I’ve been a fan of the blogosphere and I’ve personally made a few failed attempts at it before. I’ve loved writing ever since I was a child, but somehow lost that passion after years of forced academic writing and research papers. Now that college life is behind me, I’m excited to use this medium as a way to practice my storytelling and writing skills.

In February 2012, we found out that Jonathan’s job would be relocating us to Aberdeen, Scotland. This blog will mostly serve as an archive for our expatriating experience. The title is directly inspired by The Paris Wife by Paula McLain. Ever since reading Ernest Hemingway in high school, it’s been my dream to live abroad. How appropriate that my blog title should be inspired by a book chronicling his first marriage (though I hope Jonathan and I have a happier ending). I’ll share logistical and well as humorous and personal details about what it is to be an American moving to the UK.

P.S. This blog was started a few months before we knew about the move. If you’re only interested in that part, you should start in the archives at March 1, 2012. However, if you’re also interested in my opinions on The Bachelor or American Idol, or seeing lots of cute pictures of our pups, you can start from the beginning.

(From left to right: Bailey-Bop, Laine, Samson, Jonathan)